By Sergio Shin
For those who know me well, you know I have always been a huge sucker for rom coms (romantic comedies, for the uninitiated). Many people also know by now that my wife Michelle is currently 30-weeks pregnant, so we have both been under strict quarantine (we essentially only go outside when we take a brief walk, run some errands, or go grocery shopping). It’s been an interesting transition for the both of us. Much like anything in life, there are some pros and cons. Since I am an introverted homebody, quarantine has been welcomed at times, but obviously I miss my SH church family after several months of being completely isolated. Working from home has been fairly enjoyable without those long commutes, but my productivity at work has also dipped at times with all the distractions.
One thing that I have been doing recently on Friday nights is staying up to watch some rom coms that are on TV. For those who may not be aware, once we turn on the TV at night and Michelle lays down on the couch, it’s pretty much ‘see you tomorrow morning’ shortly thereafter. So, needless to say, this has been a solo experience. Here are some recent ones that I have watched: The Proposal, Forgetting Sarah Marshall (a bit too raunchy at times, so viewer discretion advised), The Holiday (one of my favorites), and a few others I can’t remember. Some of my all-time favorites are The Wedding Crashers, Love Actually, and any Matthew McConaughey movie that was made before he became a serious actor (now you truly see what I mean… my love for rom coms runs deep). Growing up, after coming home from school, I would sometimes insert my Titanic movie on VHS in my parent’s bedroom and watch the whole thing. I used to be able to tell you what scene was coming up next and maybe even the lines from the characters to a certain extent. I know that Titanic is not a rom com, but this movie probably helps pinpoint the origins of my gravitation towards love stories.
So, why am I bringing all this up? Good question. I am not even entirely sure if this will connect well with the main point that I am trying to illustrate. It might sound cheesy, but my point is this: You should not be afraid of who you are, how God wired you to be, and who you are becoming. My interest in rom coms and romantic movies in general may sound like a silly example but honestly, during my childhood, people did not really understand my affinity towards these types of movies and who I was as a person (especially with the whole stigma that comes from being a male who appreciates rom coms).
As I am about to become a first-time parent, some days I have been waking up a bit anxious about what kind of a dad I will be for my future son. I’ve been occasionally asking Michelle, “Do you think that [name of our son] and I will be close when he grows up?” For some context, my dad and I are not particularly close. We talk about 2-3 times max per year and even that is only briefly during major events like birthdays, holidays, etc. But please, don’t hear what I am NOT saying. I am fortunate to have a dad who loves me and did everything he could in order to provide for our family. For that I am eternally grateful. My question to Michelle was directed more towards what my own personal relationship would be with my son.
To tie this anticipation of becoming a first-time parent back to my main point, I am becoming more assertive about the kind of person and parent that I want to be for all my kids. I am not my dad and that is perfectly ok. Unlike in the past, I can now confidently admit that rom coms are my jam. This is but a small piece of who I am as a person and ultimately, the kind of person my new family needs me to be. I no longer want to be afraid of who I am, who I am becoming, and most importantly, who God is leading me to be.